LAGOS WONDER: ‘AFRICAN SCIENCE’ ARRESTS CRIMINAL TRIAL

It was the stuff home video stories are made off: fantastic, magical and impossible occurrences taking place in ordinary everyday living.

Take one. A bandit is cornered by trigger happy police officers, yet the “bad man” appears unruffled and will not submit to arrest. Then the bullets start to fly, only to ricochet off his body.

Take two. A lady contractor was locked in an argument with a top government official in his office. She wanted a juicy contract for her company which was ill equipped to execute same. The government official was stoutly against awarding the contract to the woman’s company. Then the lady took permission to “ease myself.” In the small room, she put some black powdery stuff on her tongue, then came out smiling sweetly at the official. After seating down she gently suggested to the “hard man” to lock the office door. He obliged her.

She suggested to him that it would be nice for the two of them to “know ourselves better this morning.” The official nodded in agreement.

She undressed and asked the man to follow suit. He obliged her. When she left the office thirty minutes later, it was with the contract papers fully signed safely in her bag, with the dazed official apologizing for the delay in doing her bid.

Take three. After six months of hectic and dangerous efforts, a top detective finally secures the arrest of a notorious fraudster and child trafficker.

The case file on the suspect was fat. However on his way to the court to prosecute the criminal suspect, the detective saw his brief case open on its own accord. Then the case file and the envelope of Exhibits emerged from the brief case and flew, yes, flew out of the moving car into the sky and disappeared.

The next thing the detective knew was that he was lying critically injured, legs broken in a hospital bed – the shocking sight of the flying case file had distracted him and he was only lucky to be alive as he had veered off his lane to have a head on collision with a bus.

If any of the incidents described above appear outlandish and impossible, what can one make of a similar incident in a true life situation that happened on Friday 15th May 2009 in the court of a Lagos judge O.D. Oluwayemi .J.

On the fateful day, the prosecution called a star witness in the case of People of Lagos State vs Pastor Mrs Gift John and three others, to the witness box. The defendants in the matter which included the husband of Gift John were facing charges including running an illegal orphanage and child stealing.

About three years ago, when the defendants were apprehended by security agents, it made front page news, with the newspapers awash with the mystical powers of Pastor Mrs. Gift John.

In a Punch Newspaper interview, Opeyemi Bamidele Esq., a legal practitioner and then Lagos State Commissionser for Youth and Sports, gave a chilling account of the difficulties of the operatives he led to storm the alleged illegal orphanage of Gift John encountered before they could get the woman arrested.

According to Bamidele, even though Gift was in the premises of her orphanage, no matter how hard and long they searched for her there, she could not be found. In fact it was a case of the more you looked the less you saw. Gift John had simply vanished. Or so it seemed.

The situation, according to Bamidele changed dramatically however, when an operative of the dreaded Oodua Peoples Congress joined the team. The OPCer was said to have brought out a ring from his pocket, thrown it at a corner of the room and presto! The hitherto invisible Gift John became quite visible, cowering in a corner, semi nude (being only in pants and bra!).

According to our geckos, the trial started well enough on 15th May 2009, with the star witness (an employee of Gift John at the orphanage) presenting a clear, coherent story of what she knew about the matter.

But just as she got to the stage pertaining to the prime suspects, the lady suddenly seized her neck and head and couldn’t utter a word again. The presiding judge, Oluwayemi was shocked at this development while the prosecuting team went into disarray.

The accused persons remained cool, calm and collected in the dock. Much as the prosecution tried to make the witness continue with her testimony, the lady could not and the judge had no option than to adjourn the matter.

After the end of all cases in the court, prosecution stayed back in the court room to investigate the stricken witness. Surprisingly, the woman had regained her power of speech. She attributed her strange condition to spiritual attack. The prosecution decided to ‘test run’ her to see how she would fare.

Alas to the utter shock of the prosecution team, the witness who was doing fine with her narration got stuck at the point in her narration that she went dumb in her oral testimony before the judge earlier in the morning. Just like before, the witness became dumb again and worse, was showing physical signs of rising mental distress.

The situation greatly perplexed the prosecution and the relatives of the witness since it was all so clear that she was not shamming.

While it appears that all fingers are pointing in the direction of the defendants as the cause of the witness’ malady, being the only possible beneficiary of the ugly situation, there is no proof to ground the suspicion.

Certainly it will be interesting to know how the case will end.

WILL THE NBA BREAK UP?

Testy debates are not new on the floor of National Executive Committee meetings of the Nigerian Bar Association. These stormy and acrimonious arguments often pit speakers with sharply divided interests against one another on sensitive issues and developments.
This was the case at the recently concluded meeting of the NBA in Sokoto (14th – 15th May 2009). The stormiest debate at the meeting was over the Report of the Alhaji Abdullahi Ibrahim Committee on inclusion.
The report dated 5th December 2007 was presented by the chairman of Inclusion Committee, after an introduction by the president of the bar Mr. Rotimi Akeredolu S.A.N. After Alhaji Ibrahim, popularly known as the first Northern Nigerian to became a legal practitioner, went through the report, the president of the Bar called for free and vigorious debates on the document.
Chief Mamman Mike Osumon S.A.N a member of the 25 man committee on Inclusion was the first to respond. Osuman spoke in favour of the report and urged the NEC to consider accepting it in the interest of justice and fair play to all concerned.
The next speaker, Emeka Ngige S.A.N first praised the document before shooting it down rather brutally. According to the learned silk, the report and the views it projected (reserving exclusively five key offices in the National Executive Council to wit presidency, 1st, 2nd, 3rd vice-presidencies, General Secretary to each of six geographical zones to wit, South West, North Central, South East, North East, South South and North North in any election year. The reserved positions are to be rotated in an anti clock wise fashion among the afore-mentioned zones). [See Cover Story Exhibit] are beautiful but regretted that they were suitable only for political parties like APGA, PDP, e.t.c but grossly unsuitable for a professional body like the NBA where merit, competence and popular acceptance should be the determining factors of getting elected into offices. Ngige ended by recommending the rejection of the report saying it was only fit for the dust-bin. Ngige’s conclusion generated great heat in the breasts of those in support of the report of the Inclusion Committee.
It was Agbo Madaki’s turn to make his contributions and he spoke vehemently against Emeka Ngige’s position, claiming that “the North feels cheated” under the present arrangement of minimalist zoning system where the North as big and disparate as it is, is just treated as one zone while the South has two zones (East and West))
An obviously angry Madaki threatened that there might be untoward consequences for the NBA, should the Abdullai Ibrahim Committee Report be rejected.
Once again Mike Osuman SAN was given an opportunity to speak and he condemned Emeka Ngige’s suggestion that the Inclusion Committee Report be thrown into the dustbin as rude and disparaging of the committee. He thereafter called for a vote on the acceptance or otherwise of the report.
The president of the NBA, Rotimi Akeredolu SAN, who was presiding, appeared to be giving the Osuman suggestion some consideration when the likes of O.C.J Okocha SAN came with a counter suggestion that a decision should not be taken either way on the matter until NEC members, had had opportunity to discuss with their branches on it.
In that vein O.C.J Okocha SAN suggested that voting be suspended until the next NEC meeting which takes place between July 15 and 16 2009 at Port Harcourt, Rivers State.
The president approving of this advice, which appeared popular on the floor accepted it and ruled accordingly.
But to the surprise of many, supporters of inclusion report staged a walk-out. The walk-out however did not come as surprise to the Squib.
Much earlier, credible news had reached us that “Northern Elements” had mobilised “seriously” to the Sokoto NEC meeting with the sole intent of getting the Inclusion Report accepted by the NEC or in the alternative, pull out of the NBA, to create a Northern Nigerian States Bar (NNSB) to cater for the interests of Northern Nigerian lawyers.”
According to our sources, the main grouse of those pushing for the adoption of the Inclusion Committee’s Report is the alleged marginalisation of lawyers of Northern origin from the upper echelons of the national leadership of the NBA which they claim has been dominated unfairly by Southern Nigerians, particularly the Yoruba.
According to the “Northern Elements” before the re-birth of the Bar in 1998, the South had dominated the leadership of the Bar and even since the re-birth, no Northerner has become the president of the bar.
In all since 1998, there have been seven presidents of the NBA in the following order:

Chief Okpoko SAN - 1998-2000
O.C.J Okocha SAN - 2000-2002
Wole Olanipekun SAN - 2002-2004
Bayo Ojo SAN - 2004- 2005
Lanke Odogiyon - 2005-2006
Olisa Agbakoba SAN - 2006- 2008
Rotimi Akeredolu SAN - 2008-2009
All are silks excepting Odogiyon) and are Southern Nigerians (except Bayo Ojo SAN, although a Yoruba).

A careful and informed look into the emergence of these leaders however show their emergence was not as a result of any deliberate exclusion of Northerners from ruling the NBA.
In 1998, Chief Okpoko contested in a presidential field without any Northern presence. Ditto for O.C.J Okocha in year 2000. Nobody prevented Northern participation.
In 2002 when the application of the informed arrangement of zoning presidency of the NBA began, Olanipekun SAN then an Ilorin based lawyer won election, beating a fellow Yoruba man, Segun Onakoya, a Lagos based practitioner.
In 2004, when the presidency was zoned to the North, Bayo Ojo SAN, a Northern (Kogi State) Yoruba defeated J.B Dawodu SAN (Kogi State, Kaduna based lawyer) A.B Mahmond S.A.N) (Kano State born and based lawyer) and Phillips Umeh (South East Nigeria).
The next president, Lanke Odogiyon, a former 1st Vice-President to Bayo Ojo S.A.N, is Yoruba but Kaduna based lawyer. He was not elected to the post but got the prime post by way of promotion, as it were. So Odogiyon could be regarded as an accidental President of the NBA.
Olisa Agbakoba SAN, the next president contested at a time the presidency was zoned to the East. Agbakoba though based in Lagos, is Igbo and so contested against Chris Uche SAN another Igbo, but based in Abuja and Funke Adekoya SAN, a Yoruba.
Rotimi Akeredolu SAN, a Yoruba contested in an empty field even though the presidency was zoned to the West.
In the coming election year 2010, the informal zoning system in the NBA has given the presidency to the North.
This fact baffles many bar men and women from the South. To them why should elements from a zone that would produce the next president of the bar be complaining of exclusion and even threatening to pull out of the NBA, if the Ibrahim Abdullahi Committee Report is not accepted by the NEC. The Squib learnt authoritatively that if the vote had been taken on the Inclusion Report at the Sokoto NEC and same was rejected, certain lawyers of Northern Region were prepared to call a press conference to announce the birth of a separatist bar organization to be called “NBA 2” to cater exclusively for the interests of lawyers of Northern Origin.

TERRIBLE! LAWYER DUPES OCTOGENARIAN?

The prologue of this story is before you now. The epilogue is yet to be written, but certainly it will be.
The protagonist is an 80 year old pensioner. His name is Ishola Adams. The antagonist is may be half the age of Pa Ishola Adams but he is a learned gentleman. His name is Lucas A. Bamikole.
However as far as the protagonist is concerned, Bamikole may be learned but certainly he is not a gentleman and is not honourable.
You may want to know why Pa Adams came to such a conclusion. The answer is not far fetched-close to a year now, the old man had engaged the lawyer to levy execution on some former tenants of his, in his property, but the work till date is yet to be carried out.
Since the time of his engagement, Barrister Bamikole has been giving one excuse after the other, to explain away why he is yet to carry out his own side of the bargain, despite being fully paid.
In February 2009, Pa Adams sent in a petition to Squib against Bamikole. When in the same February 2009, the Squib contacted Bamikole on phone over the issue, the lawyer told the magazine that he was in Ekiti State. According to Bamikole he went to Ekiti State to get proper medical attention for his ill-health which started “some weeks ago”. He assured the magazine that by the 25th of March, he would get the execution done once he was on his feet.
In mid-march 2009 when the Squib called him for the second time, Bamikole told this magazine that his health had greatly improved and that by the March 25 2009, the execution will “surely” be levied.
In mid-April 2009 when we placed another call to him, Bamikole told the Squib that he had just been unfortunate to have been involved in a motor car accident on his way back to Lagos, forcing him back to Ekiti State. Nonetheless the lawyer promised that by the 28th of April 2009 he would be back in Lagos to carry out the execution. Curiously the lawyer added a caveat-the Squib should remonstrate with Pa Adams to provide at least fifteen out of the thirty padlocks to secure the property after execution might have been levied. April 28 2009 came and went but there was no trace of Barrister Bamikole (called to the bar, May 2001) in Lagos and the execution was not done.
On may 7 2009, the Squib again reached out to Bamikole via the phone, enquiring from him why he has not levied execution on the 28th April 2009 as he had promised. Bamikole's response was to the effect that the combined factors of political unrest in Ekiti State and fuel scarcity, had marooned him in Ekiti State. He did not forget to ask whether the Squib had succeeded in making Pa Adams buy the 15 padlocks he asked for-as if such a purchase was a pre-requisite for his carrying out the execution assignment. Bamikole ended the conversation by assuring the Squib that come Friday 15th May 2009, he would, 'padlocks or no padlocks' carry out the execution.
Is Barrister Lucas Ayodele Bamikole a “Promise and fail” lawyer or even worse still, a fraudulent legal practitioner or is this really a case of an impatient, insensitive client unduly harassing his counsel?
Dear readers will be the judge in this case. To assist in your findings, we publish the petition of Pa Ishola Adams to the Squib as well as some of the messages SMS and letters of the counsel to Pa Adams.
And we should not forget that 15th May 2009 is just around the corner. If that day should pass again without Barrister Bamikole fulfilling his bargain, with Pa Adams, then we will know for sure that he is actually what the petitioner calls him.

Alhaji Ishola Adams
(Compliant)
Plot 208, Ajuwon Akute Road,
Ogun State.
9th February 2009

The Editor,
Squib Magazine
c/o No. 197A, Ikorodu Road,
Palm Grove Bus Stop,
Palm Grove,
Lagos.

PERSONAL ATTENTION: BARRISTER ADESINA OGUNLANA

Dear Sir,

In Re: PETITION AGAINST A SUSPECT; FAKE AND ERRANT LAWYER, BARRISTER L. AYOBAMI BAMIKOLE IN RESPECT OF BRIEFS GIVEN TO HIM BY ME ON VARIOUS DATES PARTICULARLY SUIT NO. M/190/2006 INVOLVING MY PROPERTY AT N0.34, ISAALE AGBEDE STREET, LAGOS ON THE COURT RULING GIVEN ON THE 2ND MAY 2006 BEFORE HON, JUSTICE OYEBANJI A.A (MRS).
I am rather constrained to report this incident of professioan (sic) misconduct against the above named Lawyer Barrister L. Ayobami Bamikole who has a law chamber (sic) at suite 5/6 left wing BETEL PLAZA at lle-lse Bus Stop along main Akute road besides FORTUNELAND SCHOOL along main Akute Road, Ogun State.
Regrettably, it would appear he has vacated his office since December 2008 and his where about is unknown. This is a privileged information to enable you realize the seriousness of this matter. A number of his client are looking for him to no avail and no notice of relocation from him to this effect.
To be precise about July, 2008 I personal approached him with the ultimate intention of patronizing him as a young Lawyer staying very close to my neighborhood. So that he could be of personal assistance to me in some pending legal matters of suits for resolution and I was willing to pay him his professional fees accordingly.
For a start, I requested him to write three letters on my behalf to an illegal squatter on my land at Aguda, and another delinquent Tenant, Mr. Kabiru Adeyemi Disu including the Deputy Inspector General of Police (DIP) force criminal investigation Department, (Special Fraud Unit) No 13 Milverton Road, Ikoyi Lagos on the subject matter of non - refund of Tax deductions from Railway pensioners involving N5 million naira and some other. He was paid N5,000 (five thousand naira) each on three different occasions making a total of N15,000 (fifteen thousand naira)only, and were cash receipted by Barrister Bamikole related photocopies already forwarded to you.
In regard to the letter written to (DIG) the purported cash receipts from (IFEX EXPRESS LTD) were suspected to have been mutilated. This is suspect and sinister, up till now there had been no responses from any of the addresses. When I demanded from him why this was so, he has me for more money particularly that the investigation at (DIG'S) office demanded N20,000 (twenty thousand naira) from him to pursue further the conduct the investigation this also lapsed.
Secondly, another separate brief was give him to help me in leving (sic) the execution of the court ruling and he demanded from me the sum of N50,000 (fifty thousand naira only) that is N20,000 (twenty thousand naira) at the first instance and another N30,000 (thirty thousand naira) respectively. In very close sequence, within two weeks, he said this was because of the seriousness of the matter. Since then, he has been giving me series of excuses through his letters and text messages to me giving all sort of excuses for not being able to execute this assignment that has been paid for as his professional fees.
On the whole, he had colleted from me the total sum of N65,000 (Sixty Five thousand naira only) for services not rendered. If wish to indicate that I am no longer interested in his services to me but to arrange the refund of the said total amount of N65,000 (sixty five thousand naira) only and decided to drop the issue. This is my demand, but if your magazine still wish to pursue this matter, all well and good on ethical and professional angles. At 80 years old. I can not afford the attendant stress associated with this let down from this Duper or 419 Barrister Lawyer.
Thanks you for your co-operation. Hope to hear from you soonest

Yours faithfully,



N/B all related photocopies of correspondences from him are already in
your possession. Including the recent messages sent to me.

HAND WRITTEN LETTER FROM BARRISTER BAMIKOLE TO PA ISHOLA ADAMS ON 25-07-08
Daddy,
We are unable to do the execution yesterday because the mobile police officer we have book (sic) for went for a special assignment on a peace keeping mission in Ondo-State for 2 weeks, because of the judgement of the election petition tribunal sitting on the petition filed by Dr. Mimiko against Gov. Agagu. All the mobile police in all the 6 states in the western zone of Nigeria were deployed the local govt area in Ondo state, to forestall (sic) peace.
Sir, since the mission will last for 2 weeks it means that the execution can be done by Friday 8th August 2008 or there about. But one good thing here is that, all documents had been perfected on this except that the physical presence of the police is compulsory to monitor the execution exercise and safeguard those of us that will be present at the scene.
Sir, I gave your indulgence that you should not mind the slight shift on the date of the execution, as the delay is not caused by either me or the bailiff, but the police whose presence is inevitable. We assure you that, the execution will be done as soon as the police are available since all other arrangement had been completed Sir. Until will see sir.

HAND WRITTEN LETTER FROM BARRISTER BAMIKOLE TO PA ISHOLA ADAMS ON 17-09-08
Dear Alhaji,
I saw you note and having gone through the content, I have the following to tell you sir,
(a) There is no doubt that the execution exercise had been delayed beyond necessary bit this delay was not caused by either the lawyer handling it, or the bailiff or even the registrar of the court who had signed all the necessary paper since.
(b) The police that delayed the job was on special duty since and this was confirmed to us, even by the new commissioner of police Lagos state that he can not say when he will return to duty post in Lagos police command because he was on Federal Government assignment.
(c) The only option left to us now is to bring another #15,ooo to book for another officers who may not be mobile police but he assure us that they will do the job for us. He said we need to book again because he was not the one that sign (sic) the booking we do (sic) before and that we need to sign another document since we need another set of officers.
(d) I was now in agreement with the bailiff that we should find means of raising the money and go and book for another police before ending since we can not collect those we have spent to obtain the documents and the police.
(e) Although, you as the owner of the job who has paid as much as that will be waiting to see result, but I want you to know that, it is not that I collected money from you and spend it, for my own purpose. It is not my money, I have given it to those whose services we need it for.
(f) By ending of this month we agreed to go and book for another set of police to do the job for us. I can assure you that the work will be done, we only need like a month or 3 weeks to raise money and book, for and get the work done.
(g) I have not relent (sic) on my effort to see this execution carried out, but because I have not been coming to narrate the stories of how I have been moving on the assignment you thought I am not working on it.
(H) You mention that you will report me to NBA disciplinary committee, I don’t think it has got to that, because the work you gave me is not the one I will do in my office, it is a work that must be done by other set of people which I can not control.
(I) As a lawyer I have done my own part of the assignment by giving them money for the execution of the ruling. It is not even my duty to go and book for police. It is the work of the bailiff to apply for the necessary papers and police to safeguard themselves while doing the operation.
(J) Sir, since, it is not that I deliberately decided that I will not complete the assignment, I have started, I will still plead that you give me time, to do the work for you. The money collected can not be returned by this people. No NBA can tell them to return it. For example, can NBA tell Lagos State govt to refund the money collected to prepare and sign document for the bailiff or the police commissioner who had collected money and had been transferred out of Lagos. Pls hold on for me.

HAND WRITTEN LETTER FROM BARRISTER BAMIKOLE TO PA ISHOLA ADAMS ON 15-10-08
Daddy, I was in court this morning at Ikeja on a rent matter when I finish (sic) the matter, I deliberately decided to visit the bailiff section to confirm our trip to Isala Agbede on Friday. It was a surprise that the bailiff who said he will receive his salary last week to book, confirmed to me that he was paid yesterday from his bank. According to him he wanted to go and book for 2 police officer for the job at the commissioner’s office with the #15,000 as agreed when I moved in.
We went straight to the commissioner of Police, and we book (sic) for the 2 police officer (sic) that which will follow us to the house. One major problem which crop (sic) up because of this delay in booking was that, the renewal of all the documents already signed for the exercise has not been done. This made the bailiff to give the police a longer date 24-10-08 to allow him to complete his execution paper’s renewal before the execution proper actually take place.
When I disagree with him that we can not wait for another one week, the assignment he put up was near, he will never do a work that will send him to jail. He said that the work of a bailiff is different from the work of a lawyer. He made us to understand that he should get the old document for his new booking, it will be a good ground for the parties involved to fight back and it may put himself, the police officers, the lawyer and even the landlord into trouble that we have done illegal job. I told him that you are so much in hurry to see this execution done, but he said I should plead to you that this is just a period of one week that is added, and that we should please wait for him, he will complete his paper work before execution is carried out.
Sir, from his explanation and the reasons given we do not have option than to wait till 24-10-08, the booking is done in my present (sic) at the commissioner’s office, with that assurances, that date is certain for the execution. I do hope you will bear with us. This one week delay is for our own good. Do not allow that lawyer to have opportunity of fighting us back. We should not take chances, we need to do a perfect job sir.
Sir, on our propose trip to milverton at Ikoyi, I have looked at my time table for the week, I cannot be chance (sic). But it is possible next week between Wednesday and Thursday. If you still want us to go together, you may fixed (sic) any of this (sic) two days. But baba you will pay for my full day work on that day for because it will take a whole day from us and you know that time is money for lawyer. I am only joking but you will make your boy happy when we come back for abandoning his office for a whole day.
Finally sir, I passionately plea (sic) that you bear with me and my people, whether devil like it or not the execution is going to be done this October. We are your son, (sic) do not be annoyed with us. We have to follow the normal procedure sir. Lawyer.

EXTRACT OF SMS FROM LAWYER BAMIKOLE PHONE NO 23470589 ON THE 24TH OCTOBER 2008 AT ABOUT 23.31HRS AS FOLLOWS
Sir, Today we suppose to do that execution but the registrar herself stop it and shift it to 7th Nov 2008. Her reason for that was that you must be physically present at the scene of the execution and point to the house before bailiff (sic) do theirs. This became necessary because the numbering of house might have change (sic) since the court ruling was delivered over one year ago.
The above is to avoid costly mistake of sealing another man house.

SMS message sent in by Barr. Bamikole to Pa. Ishola Adams on 06-04-09 by 3:51pm
Baba I don’t know what is happening to your work. I was on my way to Lagos this morning and our tire puncture and we had a fatal accident after Ilesha. Thank God I sustain minor injury. All of us were taking to Westly hospital Ilesha. I know by Wednesday I would be discharged we have to do the work by Friday 10th of April. I have fix that day with the bailiff. Pls sir, help me arrange to buy some key with that man you have at that house at Isale Agbede and tell him to meet us by 7am that day with the keys. I have prepared to buy the key but this unexpected spend on my treatment will not permit me to do so. If you can start coming to Lagos by 6am you may still meet us there but it is not advisable you come so that they will allow us to do our work and go. Our plan is to leave the place by 8am latest so that they will not meet us there. Pls assist me on the key I am coming to Lagos because of the work pls call me by the evening.

SMS message sent in by Barr. Bamikole to Pa. Ishola Adams on 09-04-09 by 9:35pm
Baba the bailiff said tomorrow and Monday is Public Holiday. We can not do it, so we have postpone it to Wednesday next week. Pls arrange for more keys.

SMS message sent in by Barr. Bamikole to Pa. Ishola Adams on 16-04-09 by 4:43pm
Alhaji, since you refused to assist me on the padlock that we need for the execution despite the fact that I am prepare to do it now that I am a bit ok. I have gone back to Ekiti to look for small money to borrow to buy 20 padlock for the execution I hope to be back by Thursday next week so that we can do it by Friday morning. It will be meaningless to go and do the execution with only 5 padlocks that I can afford now to a house where we need 30 padlocks. I have informed the bailiff about this development and we fixed next Friday for the operation tentatively. I would call you by Friday morning 8am when we finish.

THE TIGERS’ SUPER WEEK

Wow, what a wonderful week it was for members of the Ikeja branch of the Nigerian Bar Association, last week! It was the week set apart by the Ikeja Bar, a.k.a Tiger Branch to celebrate their branch by holding series of diverse programmes in special honour of the branch and for the education and entertainment of members and friends of the branch.
Since her inception in 1983, the Tigers have been having their “Law Weeks” but none arguably has surpassed the 2009 edition, especially in terms of quality entertainment and refreshment. Of course this is not to say, it was a perfect Week, executed flawlessly. There were visible signs of sometimes embarrassing “irregularities” like late starts, “publicity mis-prints”, “shumeric” (uncouth) behaviour on the part of some members of the Law Week Committee, like the ladies who greedily and selfishly carted home huge quantities of ‘after-events’ foods and drinks without a thought for others, even extending the same attitude, indeed aptitude to the Sheraton Hotel on Dinner day (May 1 2009).
One thing was certain however, both the Executive Committee and the M.O. Ubani led Law week Committee raised the bar for the organization of Law weeks in the Tiger Bar. The week, with the inspiring theme of “THE ROLE OF LAWYERS IN NATIONAL DEVELOPMENT” started on Monday 27th April 2009 with a well-attended press conference at the Bar Centre, Ikeja High Court, the Secretariat of the Tigers. The conference was staged to publicise the Law week.
On Tuesday, the 28th April 2009 about fifty Tigers paid a visit to the Ikoyi Prisons. The honorable Chief-Judge of Lagos State, Adetula Alabi J. accompanied by his top aides like Mrs. Latifat Folami, the Chief Registrar and Mrs. Folake Oshin, Deputy Chief Registrar, was also on the visit. At the end of the visit, quite a lot of toiletries were donated by the Tigers to the institution and sixteen of the inmates were graciously pardoned and set free by the Chief Judge.
On Wednesday, 29th April the Tigers staged a Law Clinic at Alade, the popular “rich man’s” market in Ikeja. The Law Clinic is a programme started five years ago in the administration of Adekunle Ojo esq as chairman of the branch (2004-2006). Although very well organized, with about seventy Tigers in attendance, as well as Mrs. Oluremi Tinubu, wife of the former Governor of Lagos State Bola Tinubu, only a few of the Alade Market traders availed themselves of the opportunity of the Law Clinic to receive free legal counseling and services.
In the evening, the Tigers, numbering about a hundred in all, repaired to the Martinos, an events centre at the Central Business District, Ikeja, Lagos, for their Variety Night. What a thrilling night it turned out to be! Aside the D.J - a suitably competent hand, three singing acts and one comedian, there was a thirty-man dancing troupe in attendance.
There was no dull moment at all, from the beginning of the V.N to the end as all the performers put up scintillating acts, the most outstanding being the dancing troupe with their energetic and synchronised and enthralling dancing steps and acrobatics coupled with beautiful drumming and singing.
The roof almost came down when the troupe invited their appreciative spectators of lawyers to join them on stage. The ecstasy heightened when Segun Adebayo, an up-coming actor and lawyer and Funke Akindele the producer and the lead character in the awards-raking Yoruba movie Jenifa joined in the dancing. All through, light refreshment and drinks were served in neat, organized fashion.
On Thursday 20th April 2009 at the same Martinos, the Tigers were held down to another round of “edutainment” this time in the form of intellectual engagement courtesy of a lecture-ably delivered by Professor Yemi Osinbajo S.A.N, the former Attorney General of Lagos State. The lecture, chaired by Honourable Justice Dolapo Akinsanya, retired judge of the Lagos State High Court, was entitled the The Imperative of Electoral Reforms in Constitution Governance in Nigeria.
Four eminent lawyers - Professor Oyelowo Oyewo, Mr. Fred Agbaje, Deacon Dele Adesina S.A.N and MR. Lawal Pedro, (who represented the Governor at the occasion) discussed Professor Osinbajo’s paper. It must be noted that Professor Oyewo’s contribution was the most engaging.
On Friday May 1 2009, the fifth day of the Law week, the Tigers first programme of the day was a football match between the football team of the branch and the Youth Soccer of their neighbour, the Archbishop Vinning Memorial Church.
It was no surprise that the church team won a resounding 3-0 victory over the Tigers. While the church team had an average age of 22 years for the players, the Tigers averaged no less than 37 years. They lacked both stamina and team co-ordination. Their fortunes went from bad to worse in the second half, with the exit of their captain, Adesina Ogunlana, due to thigh injury.
Even though the Tigers lost, they put up a stiff resistance and were cheered lustily by their supporters club led by Mrs. Gloria Nweze, the branch treasurer. At the end of the match, a lot of soft-drinks, meat-pies and scotch-eggs were provided for both teams and their supporters.
In the evening, the Tigers had a much happier outing at the Sheraton Hotel for their Dinner. Since inception of the branch, this would only be the second time the Tigers would be having their Law Week Dinner at the Sheraton.
The first time in 1992, it ended in fiasco as food ran out after the first fifty guests were served. But this year, even after more than the three hundred guests who came for the dinner served themselves ample and rich portions, there was food enough for at least no less than another hundred. Seeing the vast amount of scrumptious dishes still remaining, two members of the Law Week Committee, who had distinguished themselves a day before at the Lecture Hall as specialists in appropriating left-overs, tried to acquire the “remainder surplus” but were rebuffed by shocked and indignant Sheraton Hotel Staff, who shooed them away with icy remarks that: “This is a buffet, what your organization paid for is the satisfaction of three hundred guests, and nothing more”.
One of the leftovers-take over (LOTO) 'specialists' Mrs. Lynda Echeta, who heroically hauled off no less than thirty cans and bottles of soft drinks and some loads of food and meat, in open day-light without assistance after the Thursday lecture, was actually seen unfurling a poly-bag at the Sheraton, after Dinner, preparatory to loading some leftovers. The uncompromising Sheraton staff-officials however firmly killed her dream, leaving her grumpy and disappointed.
The very well attended dinner, chaired by a Justice of the Supreme Court, Justice George Oguntade, attracted the No 1 and 2 citizens of the State, in the persons of Mr. Babatunde Fashola S.A.N, Governor of the State and Mr. Ikuforiji, the Honourable Speaker of the Lagos State House of Assembly, who was to later make a salient and poignant point that even though he, not being a lawyer is called 'unlearned,' yet he is the one who makes laws for the so called 'learned ones' (lawyers) to use.
The dinner started in earnest at 7.30 p.m. with the introductions to the high table handled by the duo of Deacon (Pastor) Dele Adesina S.A.N and Mrs. Tola Rotimi, Director, Office of the Public Defender (OPD) as comperes.
Four men, in the estimate of this magazine were the best dressed males at the dinner. Only three of them will be identified though. The first is Mr. Rotimi Akeredolu S.A.N, the president of the NBA who was quite a nice sight to behold with his natural Father Christmas moustache and grizzlies, coupled with his rich red bow-tie and pocket ’kerchief, certainly no Aba-made or Iwo road junction procurement.
The second is E.O. Ogundare Esq, a Chief Magistrate and a Deputy Chief Registrar, Lagos State High Court whose attempt to sit anonymously in the crowd of diners was frustrated by his handsome red waist coat which cut so perfectly matched the outlines of his jacket and shirt lapels and front to form a beguiling cupid’s heart.
The third is the master of ceremony himself Dele Adesina S.A.N. Just like Ogundare, the silk had a fetching red waist coat on. It was a quilted design that spoke glowingly of the glorious tapestry of Persian rugs and certainly made the ordinarily handsome Adesina, very attractive indeed.
As for the ladies, outstanding dressers were many but arguably the most spectacular was the wife of the Publicity Secretary of the branch, Mrs. Abdullateef Abdulsalam, whose all white ball-gown with matching blue and white turban and shoes made her truly impressive and regal.
The hottest babe of the evening however came in a smashing black, ‘back-less’ dress, leaving many men gaping and breathless. However seeing her in the risky company of a self-trained snooper who made a far and hidden corner of the hall his observatory perch, none came too near to express his interest.
Speaking at the occasion, the chairman of the dinner, Oguntade JSC observed that while it would be untrue to contend that since independence, Nigeria has not made progress, there is room for more progress.
His lordship urged lawyers to assist the courts in decongesting courts of cases, by practicing diligent and socially responsible advocacy. The chairman of the NBA Ikeja, Mr. Dave Ajetomobi, called upon to make his speech, used the opportunity to extol the virtues of Raji Fashola S.A.N as the Governor of the state and announced that a book of selected articles will soon be published by the branch in honour of the Governor.
After the Chairman’s speech, Mr. Wale Ogunade, a member of the Law Week Committee, read the citation of the Governor, who later received a plaque from Mr. Dave Ajetomobi. Another speaker at the dinner was the president of the NBA, who admonished and warned his colleagues that in the face of the distasteful social realities in the country that “the time might come, when we may have to throw away our suits and defend the constitutional liberties of our people.” In other words, lawyers should be prepared for revolution.
When called upon to make a speech, the Governor jokingly replied that he was only prepared to come and have an enjoyable dinner. But speak, His Excellency eventually did. For about twenty minutes. He spoke on the need to pay taxes, the need to sanction breachers of electoral laws, and his government's interest in making Reforms in the Land use legal regime.
The governor did not only employ facts and figures in his speech. He also showed traces of humour. For example, according to him for being located in the capital of Lagos State, the Ikeja Bar is not the Tiger Bar as she likes to call herself but the Capital Bar. The Governor made a passing remark about the honourable Commissioner for Justice and Attorney-General, Supo Sasore SAN in this humorous fashion - “I have an A.G who I will not trade for any other. Some people say they are the biggest but empty. But my A.G is the tallest in the Federation but full of content.”
The much awaited Dinner, came to pass after the Governor’s speech and all had more than enough to feast on. In the course of doing justice to the meals, the guests were entertained by a comedian (the same for Thursday). The comedian gave a fair account of himself but could have done better.
Thereafter Mr. Femi Falana gave the toast of Lagos State while Honourable Ikuforiji, gave the toast of the Bar.
It was time to draw the curtains on a memorable night.

BARRISTER JOE IGUNBOR AND THE CONVERTED N23,000.00

Called to the bar in August 1984, Jonathan Nofe Igunbor, was very much at home at the Ikeja bar for quite a long time, up till 2005. This is no surprise as Igunbor, popularly called Joe Igunbor had grown up in Lagos and speak unaccented Yoruba.
A general practitioner, Igunbor was well known in the Ikeja bar and had attempted in the past to become the chairman of the virile bar, popularly known as the Tiger Bar.
However since about five years ago, Igunbor an easy going fellow and a ready mixer-described by these who know him more closely as an otherwise-able lawyer, has become very scarce in the Tiger Bar.
Credible information has it that Igunbor has relocated finally to his true native roots-Benin. The move was said to be motivated by a desire to “make it more” in life as the gentleman, who is in his unripe fifties was said to believe he would thrive better in his native Benin, than Lagos, the land of his youth.
In fact there were some shreds of information that Igunbor is presently into farming in Benin apart from his legal practice.
However there indications that Igunbor’s relocation to Benin was more of a forced flight than a voluntary decision.
In the year 2005, in the administration of Adekunle Ojo Esq, as the Chairman of the Tiger Bar, Igunbor got himself engaged, himself in a scandal that touched on his financial integrity and scorched his reputation.
What happened was simple but unpalatable. Two members of the Tiger Bar had paid their Annual Conference fee, totaling about Twenty-three thousand naira, to the branch.
The branch was to forward members’ fees to the secretariat of the national body, at Victoria Island, Lagos.
On the very day the N23,000.00 was paid, Igunbor strolled into the branch secretariat. Just when one of the clerks of the Ikeja bar one Seun Fagunwa, who was instructed to take the money down to the National Secretariat, was ready to go on the errand Igunbor a well known “uncle” figure to the young woman asked her to give him the money as he too was going to the Victoria Island, just then and would help her to make the payment.
The clerk, happy to be relieved of the stress of a long journey, respectfully handed Igunbor the money. Unfortunately Igunbor failed, refused or and neglected to make the payment. Yet he equally, failed, refused or and neglected to return the money to the Ikeja Bar.
Igunbor’s misconduct was discovered when he had no receipts in proof of the payment, to give or show the NBA Ikeja.
Despite numerous demands on Igunbor all through 2005, and indeed up till date, he has not paid back the money. At least on no less than five occasions, since 2005, the Squib has had occasion to ask Joe Igunbor, when he would pay back the twenty-three thousand naira he fraudulently converted in 2005. Igunbor’s constant answer has always been “I will pay”.
It would be recalled that when the issue of Joe Igunbor’s conversion of the money in question was raised at a General meeting of the branch, some Senior counsel like Deacon Dele Adesina S.A.N frowned at the position of those who accused Igunbor of stealing the sum of twenty-three thousand naira, in the circumstances of the case, as stealing was guilty of the twenty-three thousand naira in question.
According to Adesina, since Igunbor was yet to be prosecuted and convicted for stealing the money, it was not right for the minutes of the meeting that discussed his case, to describe him as stealing the money.
It is disheartening and disturbing to note that the incidence of financial misdeeds such as conversion of client’s funds and properties, theft, forgery etc are on a sharp rise amongst Nigerian lawyers, a situation, if condoned or complacently treated will soon rise to epidemic proportions.
The question remain: Where is Barrister Joe Igunbor? When is he going to pay back the #23,000.00 he stole from the Nigerian Bar Association, Ikeja branch?

CHIEF AJIBOLA ARIBISALA: AN "IROKO TREE LIZARD" SILK?

Is it a crime for a man to blow his own trumpet even stridently? Certainly no. But immodest, self-praise bordering on exaggeration is rather odd, if not offensive in genteel society and in conservative professions like law.

The Squib in one of her many peregrinations stumbled on the curriculum vitae of Chief Ajibola Aribisala SAN which document was backing the silk's recent application to become a Notary Public.

To say the least, the C.V has very interesting portions, which in our editorial view, should not serve as a template for emulation by other lawyers, especially impressionable younger ones at the bar who may mistake vice for virtue,simply because it comes from a distinguished senior practitioner.

Save for the address, telephone numbers, fax and e-mail address, the said C.V of Chief Aribisala SAN is wholly herein reproduced as it is and so all perceived deficiencies therein, are left as it were, unedited. So it is not a matter of the printer's devil being at work here.

Is it a crime for a man to blow his own trumpet even stridently?

ADENIYI AJIFERUKE: THE LAWYER WHO STOLE A JACKET!

The Secretariat of the Nigerian Bar Association, Ikeja branch, popularly known as the Bar Centre is a favourite 'haunt' of many practicing lawyers.
Lawyers and even non-lawyers, come to Bar Centre to make sundry enquiries, purchase law texts and matter, alas, read and study, hold meetings, use the conveniences, lodge complaints etc.

Thus it is normal for the Centre to have people therein, especially the front desk portion which also serves as the books shop.
Occasionally, complaints and lamentations are heard from Queen Ebohon the bar clerk, that certain of her books, and sometimes cash were spirited away by unknown person. On such occasions, people wondered whether the pilferers could include legal practitioners.

On February 19 2009, a very clear but sad answer was received in response to the question “oh yes, lawyers number among those who have been pilfering at the Bar Centre.”

The day before, at about 12:30p.m, Mr. Adesina Adegbite, the Assistant General Secretary of the Ikeja branch, came to the Bar Centre to check on other leaders of the branch, all preparing to travel later in afternoon to Osogbo, Osun State for the NBA's National Executive Council (NEC) Meeting which would take place between 19th -20th February 2009.
Adegbite, glad to meet his colleagues carefully draped his black, well-tailored jacket on the back of a chair in the library of the Bar Centre, exchanged a few banters with some of the people around, before moving out to sort out some things in some other places in the court premises.
Like the other Tigers, he was not prepared to go to Osogbo dressed up. He wanted to travel light and casual. To the gentleman's surprise, then astonishment and finally bewilderment, when he came back to the Bar Centre, about an hour later he could not find his jacket again. Just could not find it.

It took the officer of the bar a while for him to come to terms that a filcher had 'stung' him. He was almost going about in circles in the small library, in vain apparently, searching for his jacket, which plus the matching trousers had cost him not so chicken a change of N45,000:00
Some of his colleagues present, including Adesina Ogunlana Esq, the First Gecko himself and the welfare officer of the branch, at this point noticed Adegbite's discomfiture, for though calm, the man obviously was in a puzzled shock. Adegbite quickly told them of the embarrassing situation he just found himself-the disappearance of his prized jacket, right in the library under the noses of the leaders of the branch.

The magical disappearance of Adegbite's jacket stunned everybody, as nobody knew who took the jacket away or in the alternative, how the jacket took a stroll away, unnoticed from where it was kept.
The mystery did not last for long however. After about an hour, the First Gecko who had been around at the Bar Centre at all material times, before and after the disappearance of Adegbite's jacket put on his Squib's special thinking cap.
Then he called his other colleagues and told them of his suspicion. Said the F.G.

“Gentlemen, I suspect the thief could well be so and so person because he is the only new face who I saw today in the Bar Centre here around the front desk. Also you know the jacket was kept in the library and so was removed from the library. Since only lawyers are allowed in the library, then a non-lawyer would not have access to the library talk-less of taking away the jacket from there.

Even more crucially, I noticed that when so and so person was leaving the Bar Centre this afternoon, I noticed that the jacket he was wearing was well tailored and of good quality and could not help but wonder where a young lawyer still searching for employment, could afford such a good jacket.”

The F.G's reasoning appealed to his colleagues, who considered it plausible and attractive. There and then, one of them a young lady counsel (names withheld) who happened to know the Mr. so and so, was actually one Bashir Adeniyi Ajiferuke, put a call to Ajiferuke a former school mate at the university, with a determined intention to lure the gentleman-thief back to the Bar Centre. Knowing that Ajiferuke was a job seeker, the lady used that as a bait, asking Ajiferuke to come back quickly to the Bar Centre for a sudden job opening. But tried as much as she did, Ajiferuke refused to come back saying he was already too far away in town from the Bar Centre, to return.

At this point, suspicion heightened among the Tiger leaders that indeed Ajiferuke, with his dogged refusal to come back to the Bar Centre could well be the thief, but it remained only that-mere suspicion.
The concrete proof of Ajiferuke's culpability came less than twenty hours later. Early the next morning at about 6.30a.m, Ajiferuke sneaked back to the Bar Centre. He went to the back of the library carefully opened the window louvers through the security latches and pushed the coat through down into the floor of the library.

Unfortunately for the thief, somebody saw him at his escapade. The person, another young lady (names withheld) who works in one of the shops in the court premises was surprised to see Ajiferuke opening the windows of the Bar Centre so early in the morning and pushing a jacket down into it. She went over to challenge Ajiferuke who quickly claimed that he was a lawyer and the jacket he was pushing into the library belonged to him. “I just want to keep the jacket in the library for now. I will come back later to take it.”

The lie worked and Ajiferuke's challenger went away. If Ajiferuke had left things at that, maybe his cover might not have been blown. Unfortunately like most smart Alecs, he over-played his hands. Ajiferuke came back later, in the day to confront the Bar Clerk, Miss Queen Ebohon over certain news he heard that a jacket was missing from the Bar Centre library, the previous day and that his name was mentioned as being responsible. He asked Queen to open the library, assuring her that “you will find that the jacket was not missing after all.”

Very reluctantly, Queen who had participated in the futile search for the jacket the previous day in the library, obliged Ajiferuke.
To her surprise, the coat indeed was found in the library. But no fool, Queen knew something was fishy and insisted that the coat was not in the library when it was searched for the day before.

In the ensuing argument between Ajiferuke and Queen, the lady who had accosted him in the morning, came to the Bar Centre, but thought the duo was arguing on something else.

Sometime later, after Ajiferuke had taken his leave, Queen now related to the young lady the cause of the quarrel between her and Ajiferuke. To Queen's utter surprise, her interlocutor replied with a narration of her own encounter with Ajiferuke much earlier in the morning, at the back of the library.

Since February 19 2009, nobody has seen Ajiferuke near even one hundred metre radius of the Bar Centre. But what made Ajiferuke come back in the morning of 19/2/2009 after successfully stealing away Adegbite's jacket?
Ajiferuke's action came out of fear. He had received in the evening of Wednesday 18/2/2009, a call from his former School mate who had called him earlier in the afternoon to come down for a job opening at the Bar Centre.

This time, Ajiferuke’s caller, putting off her gloves, straightaway asked Ajiferuke to go back to the Bar Centre and return Adegbite's jacket since “everybody especially the leaders have now known that you were the one who took it.”

Rattled by the information which was actually a bluff, Ajiferuke felt he had no better option other than to obey his caller's advice, but without exposing him as the jacket thief- hence the strategy of the back-door drop of the jacket.

Ajiferuke, who joined the NBA Ikeja branch as a member late 2008, according to his curriculum vitae, was born in 1978 and graduated from the Lagos State University LASU in 2002 but was called to the bar 2008.

DO JUDGES REALLY NEED POLICE ORDERLIES?

A group of five lawyers, who regularly stroll down after-hours to a ‘drinking joint’ from their respective offices, to ‘unwind’ met at their usual spot last Friday. The following is a part of their conversion:

JOHN: (a rotund, normally cheerful fellow) “This country, I tell you, is something else. In fact I couldn’t believe my ears when I heard the news.
JELILI: (a very dark skinned fellow from Kogi State) “What news is that? Could it be abour the removal of police orderlies from High Court judges and magistrates?
JOHN:- Yes, that is it? Can you believe that?
CHUKS: (a tall and heavily bearded fellow who had made it known for ages that he was an incurable pessimist, at least when it comes to matters pertaining to Nigeria’s progress) ‘But are you surprised? Why should any one be? Or are we no longer in Nigeria. But sensible has always been senseless here and senseless, sensible
AJUMA: (the revolutionary of the group, who despite his successful law practice which grosses him more than thirty million naira annually, refuses, fails and neglects to abandon the socialist beliefs that he embraced almost two decades ago.) It is another proof that for a psendo-capitalist state, Nigeria’s comprador class and Western Satelite government is the silliest ever”.
SHETTY: (a Kanuri, (real name, Shettima) And who for his being born, bread and buttered in Lagos, liked to call himself a ‘Yonuri (Yoruba and Kanuri). “Hmn, this beer is especially nice this evening. When are they bringing the isi-ewu now? Or they want me to waste this beer?
JOHN: (laughing loudly) Haba Shetty, beer and isi-ewu is nothing compared to the issue at hand.
SHETTY: You are not serious. So because you guys are worried about the small matter of withdrawal of police orderlies from judges and magistrates, a man should not enjoy his evening.
JOHN and JELILI: (together) Small matter? We are talking of the security of judges here, friend.
CHUKS: Sips a gin laced tonic water before whistling a doleful time of Nigeria, e go better. E go better.
AJUMA: Can any one tell me how Nigeria can ever get better, when ever the manager’s of the post-colonial state not only hate the masses but are foolish enough to open delicate ranks of their elitist formations to avoidable dangers of course we know that judges being senior minions of law and order, which upholds the political establishment, are pillars of the exploitative dominant class of bourgeois oppressions.
SHETTY: (hastily downing his cup shouted) “Binukonu nonsense.
JETTY: (turning to Shetty) Are you drink nonsense already?
SHETTY: It is not just nonsense, but letter nonsense. Instead of you guys putting on your thinking caps and appreciating the profundity and social progressiveness of the policy of government you are busy here diluting your beer and enjoyment liberally with unfounded lamentation.
JOHN: Whaat? Mi o gboyinbo (Do I get you right?)
JELILI: (turning to Chuks and Shetty) “Lets get him out of here. Our man is drunk.
JOHN: You know Shetty is a rascal. He’s probably pulling our legs.
SHETTY: I am not joking. But you may take it as you like it. By the way, mmm, this isi-ewu is not bat at all. Chuks, should I give you the eye-balls?
CHUKS: Thanks, but you can keep your eye-balls to yourself. But I really like to know why you see nothing wrong in the government’s new policy of withdrawing police from judges. I thought the dements of the policy are plain and obvious. And to think that of us including even Ajuma except you are al agreed that it is wrong more by government
JELILI: In fact the president of the bar, said it is a thoughtless policy.
AJUMA: But that’s thoughtless of the NBA president to have said. Of course I agree with his conclusion that the policy well from the perspective of maintaining the status quo, derogates from that. But it is not a thoughtless policy. Empiriasm does not and cannot support such a patently facile conclusion. In fact from the news, it is clean the policy was adopted by the Federal Executive Council, the highest formal decision making of the federal government, so much thought, went into the making and adoption of the policy. So the problem was not the want of thought, but the want of quality of thought.
JOHN: (smiling broadly and grinning infectiously) Ajums! Ajums! Oyinbo po (too much ‘grammar’). I think this is going to be a very lovely evening
CHUKS: Shetty I am still waiting for you. Why do you say the policy is good?
SHETTY: Good? Not just good. Fantastic.
JOHN: (slightly irritated) What is fantastic about the stupid policy? Let’s hear you.
SHETTY: (after a loud, cheerful and full bodied burp) Excuse me gentlemen. But let’s do it this way, give me your reasons for being against the policy and I will give you my counter arguments
CHUKS: A judge without security is just a sitting duck. Such a judge is unnecessarily exposed to intimidation and real fear of attack in adjudication of certain cases. And only a few will not succum for fear for the safety of themselves and their families.
SHETTY: (grandly) Any more?
CHUKS: That basically all. You don’t need to call a whole village of witnesses to establish a valid point.
JOHN: (grinning even more excitedly) Splendid! Who is man enough to take on Shetty, the lone ranger!
CHUKS: There is only one base reason. The policy if executed will compromise the security of judges and indirectly undermine the administration of justice in the country.
SHETTY: I am sorry but may I quickly ask you to explain further?
CHUKS: Thank you. If police Orderlies are withdrawn from judges then judges will have no security again. They are thus exposed to dangers of physical attack.
AJUMA: We have heard the thesis, let’s now hear the anti-thesis.
SHETTY: I have many reasons why I agree with the policy First I want to say that judges generally as a class of people or professionals, are not one of those I will call professionals in the high-risk category, despite popular opinion to the contrary. The professionals in the high risk categories are politicians, Business-men and women, journalist, security agents and tertiary institutions lecturer. The truth is that there are very few cases of judges and magistrates suffering physical attacks, talkless of being attacked because they are doing their job.
JELILI: That’s so because all along, judges have always had police orderlies
JOHN: (hastily) Don’t interrupt Shetty. I am the moderator here.
SHETTY: It is not the police orderlies that have prevented attack on judges. Politicians, especially high political office holders have police orderlies too, yet they suffer attacks regularly. So it is not the presence of the solitary police orderlies attach to the individual judges that have prevented attacks on judges. The reason for that is because traditionally people have a lot of respect for judicial institutions and law enforcement agencies and agents. But if any one insists that judges must have police orderlies to ensure their safety, then we should be prepared to assign orderlies to bankers, businessmen, journalists and teachers, who are even much more prone to attacks than judges and magistrates mind you, Nigeria is a republic and we should try as much as possible to promote equality and fairness amongst equality and fairness amongst all men
AJUMA: Wonders shall never end. See a comprador talking like a comrade!
CHUKS: Are you saying that judges are folks like any other?
JOHN: Will you guys shut up? Stop interrupting Shetty
SHETTY: (taking some sips of his drink) Of course judges are important. But us their work more valuable than the finance and business people. Are they greater than teachers, the source of knowledge or more valuable than journalist, the owners of the fourth estate of the republic and vital cheek on the madness of government?
JOHN: Shetty, don’t digress, continue making your point
SHETTY: Bless you, Mr. Moderator. I have always been of the opinion that a community should prefer corporate security as a policy than striving towards the protection of key individual, no matter who he is should be dependent on the safety and well being of the whole and not the other way round.
If our society is safe, so much for everybody barber or bishop, judge or janitor doctor or dancer, lawyer or labourer lets get real here how many judges are ever in any real danger, caused by the circumstances of their jobs. Few, you will agree with me-may be those ones handling narcotics, terrorism and fraud/corruption cases. Generally this is still a safe, almost innocent country, in terms of security concerns, compared with some other countries.
In consequence, the provision of security personnel for judges and magistrates for the most time is merely cosmetic and symbolic.
Government usually give only one security detail to a judge. Ask yourself in a security risk situation, how effect we is a single detail? Not very effective, I tell you, since assculants often attack in groups, with minimum of two.
CHUKS: Don’t you know that provisions of the police orderlies to judges enhance the authority of judges as judicial offers?
AJUMA: I don’t agree with that point, Chuks. Only a Monarchist and a reactionary interested in preserving and enjoying the unequal privileges of the dominant class can advance such an argument. Its another way for saying the importance of a royal is enhanced by the arrays of courtiers about him. Remember Chuks, this is a republic!
SHETTY: God bless you Ajuma. The importance of a judge should not be tied to the company of security in his presence. Otherwise you’ve reduced or even diverted the significance of security to a matter of status symbol, an indication of a judge’s so called “big-manisin”.
Unfortunately one of the reasons why some people wanted to become judges was as mundane as having a security detail follow them about in public.
Infact as I see it any sensible judge will know that even battalion of police, soldiers, ‘plus including’ Navy, Airforce etc cannot guarantee his security. A better guarantee is dedication to work, honesty and fairness Any other security form is a mirage.
At any rate as I have pointed out, Nigeria is still relatively speaking, a safe country. Nigeria is no Colombia or Italy or Spain etc where judges are kidnapped, killed and maimed for one reason or the other.
In fact government should be appreciated and commended for trying to remind our people that Nigeria is not as unsafe as some outsiders like to believe. Indeed many of the security details posted to judges as orderlies do pretty little security work. Many of them are just glorified houseboys, messengers and unofficial personal assistants of these judges.
Let them go back to their stations and beats where they are more needed and where they would be more useful in providing corporate security for all. My prayer is that government will not succumb to the pressure and blackmail of those of you who want police-men to follow judges about.
JELILI: But you have to admit Shetty, an unprotected judge is liable to attack. That’s why a judge, recently refused to hear a particular criminal case because he had no police security
SHETTY: If you ask me, that judge is not serious. When he took up appointment as a judge and took oath to do his job without fear or favour, was with the provision that “when security is provided”? if the judge is complaining of lack of security and the security is provided, will she agree that prosecution of the matter should not commence until police security is thrown around the prosecutors?
Or is that judge saying, before becoming a judge, he never took up any hazardous case(s) was he going about with security details then? In all the recent difficult political and anti-corruption cases, which security details did government provide for lawyers prosecuting these cases?
I rest my case and conclude that people are just making a mountain out of a molehill and crying wolf where there is but just a small rat, when they say that government should withdraw police orderlies from judges. Mind you, government is not removing orderlies from the court-rooms. So why all this fuss?

AKANDE IN ROAD CRASH TRAGEDY

“There, is, so says the scriptures but a step between life and death.” The truism of this statement was keenly brought to His Lordship, Inumidun Akande J of the Lagos State High Court, some days ago, albeit in tragic circumstances.
The Squib has gathered that but for the especial grace of the Almighty, Akande J tipped already as the successor to Alabi J. the embattled, out-going Chief Judge of Lagos State would not have lived beyond 14th April 2009.
According to our geckos, earlier in the morning of the said day, the honourable judge traveled up to Ilorin, Kwara State to attend the wedding ceremony of one of the children of a brother judge, Isa Salami J.C.A.
Akande J was said to be at her usual lively self at the occasion but danger was not far away. It was on the return journey that the unexpected happened as his Lordship’s car got involved in a terrible accident.
After the crash, all the three occupants to wit- Justice Akande, her driver and her police orderly despite their various injuries appeared to have survived the worst. In fact the orderly, probably because of his security training and background was the most coordinated as he was putting calls to people via his GSM phone, alerting them of the disaster and organizing the rescue.
Suddenly, as the Squib very reliably learnt, the gallant cop, very much beloved by his boss for his dedication to duty, slumped and within minutes gave up the ghost, before help could come.
All through last week, the news of the mis-hap was a closely guided secret. In her court, the judges’ aides explained away her absence from work as due to “casual leave.” It is believed that the honourable judge is using the period of the casual leave to look after her physical and emotional well-being.
The Squib prays for the speedy and full recovery of both Justice Akande and her ladyship’s driver. We further pray that the soul of the departed police orderly rest in peace.

NBA PROBES FORMER LEADERS OVER CONFERENCE ACCOUNTS

1st Counsel: (waving a bound document excitedly to two colleagues of his). Have you seen this?

2nd Counsel: Oh, is that not the Income and Expenditure Accounts for 2008 Annual Bar Conference?

1st Counsel: Oh yes you are right. I’m talking of the one prepared by the accountancy firm of ADE, ADEBAMBO ADELALU & Co

3rd Counsel: You seem excited, even agitated, anything wrong with the report?
1st Counsel: (Hotly) A lot is very wrong with it. In fact God will judge accountants very severely.
3rd Counsel: What happened? Are you saying their report is fishy.
2nd Counsel: Even if you don’t like the word fishy, the truth is that it is a report not acceptable to many lawyers. You see at the last National Executive Council meeting of the NBA, at Oshogbo the report was rejected
1st Counsel: Yes, he is right. The report which I personally consider stupid and a cover-up of the shenanigans of the organisers of the horrible 2008 conference of the NBA in Abuja was rejected.
3rd Counsel: That’s not the information I gathered about the report. Some lawyers who attended the Osogbo NEC meeting told me that the auditor’s report prepared by ADE, ADEBAMBO ADELALU & Co sailed through.
2nd Counsel: They have misinformed you. If the report sailed through, why did the NBA set up another committee headed by Mrs. Offiah S.A.N to probe the conference accounts?
1st Counsel: (to the 3rd counsel). Have you gone through the report?
3rd Counsel: Yes I have read it
2nd Counsel: And what do you think of it?
3rd Counsel: So, so
1st Counsel: What do you mean by that?
3rd Counsel: I mean that it is okay. It appears fair.
2nd Counsel: (dumb-founded). Yee pa! That report is okay?

1st Counsel: Let me ask you just one question. Please, one question
3rd Counsel: I am here
1st Counsel: Did you attend the 2008 Annual Bar Conference.
3rd Counsel: No, I was bereaved that time.
2nd Counsel: One can forgive you. If your had come for the conference, you cannot in good conscience accept this report as being fair and okay.
3rd Counsel: How do you mean?
1st Counsel: So many things are wrong and questionable in the report.

Look at conference bags and branding for example. Can you imagine they say they paid 20 million naira for 8,000 bags. That means each bag cost 2,500:00. They branded the bags for 1 million naira, that is at the cost of N 250:00 per one. This cannot be acceptable.
Not only is that the quality of the bags supplied is very poor, the most somebody will buy one in the open market cannot be more than N1,250:00 naira. Also the number of conferees who actually got those conference bags could not more than one or two thousand at most. In fact the auditors themselves wrote in their report that “the number of bags supplied cannot be ascertained”. Then talking of the cost of branding, how can you do that for N250:00 per piece? It is simply outrageous. For such a huge number, the cost at the very most cannot be more than N50:00 per piece.

2nd Counsel: See how much they claimed they spent on accommodation. A whopping N18,452,298 million. I understand the accommodation was only for Executive Members and Members of the Conference Planning Committee. So NBA leadership is luxurious living.
3rd Counsel: That may be so. But surely you can’t claim that they inflated the cost of hotel accommodation.
1st Counsel: Don’t be too sure my friend. But even if it is not inflated, why should the NBA leaders stay in five-star hotels for the conference at the expense of the bar? Remember most of the members from whose pocket the treasury of the NBA is filled stayed in two star hotels during the conference.
2nd Counsel: Look at the security expenses heading. According to these people, they spent almost two million naira on security. Can you believe that? Are there receipts for this? Look at the Annual Bar Dinner heading. Just for buffet menu and drinks at Sheraton Hotel for one night, they claimed they spent five million, six hundred thousand naira. Remember that this event was restricted to a select few and not to the generality of the conferees. Look at item 4 on that heading, here they said the local organizing committee alone spent seven million and two hundred thousand naira on food and drinks. How many are the members of this LOC who were spending an average of one million per day, on food and drinks alone? Were they feeding on caviars and N50,000 per bottle wines and water?
1st Counsel: There are many questionable figures in that report, to make one sick, even mad. How can any reasonable auditor declare that the figures are okay and reasonable? Look at the Technical Committee Expenses Heading. Just for traveling expenses to Abuja and Lagos meetings and refreshments, that Committee allegedly spent five million naira, less a hundred thousand naira. Their flights are local flights, remember. And how many are the members of this technical committee and how many meeting did they attend? Look at the Election Materials heading. They claimed they spent two million naira to produce ballot papers. Ah, cry the beloved country. How many people participated in the election, which was even a delegates’ election. All the voters were not up to two thousand people. How many ballot papers were actually printed? If the number is 2000, that means each ballot paper cost N1000:00 each! And if up to five thousand, that means, each ballot paper is N400:00! Isn’t this fantastic? Can you believe this? Okay, look at the production of conference documents and stationeries supplied heading. According to the report, ten thousand copies each of seven different documents were printed at the cost of seven million naira. There are many questions begging for answers. First, why produce ten thousand copies of documents, when you ordered for only eighty thousand conference bags? Two, where are the conference materials? Only very few conferees got conference materials and hardly the full compliment.

3rd Counsel: (Sighed deeply) Hmmmmph!

1st Counsel: To say the least, the audit report is unsatisfactory. There are many sore thumbs sticking out in that report. I am sure the Offiah Committee will do a thorough job in the discharge of their duties.

2nd Counsel: I pray they do a good job. It is pathetic that on a conference the organizers claimed to have spent almost one hundred and sixty million naira, ninety-nine percent of attendees suffered great hardships and deprivations, so much so, that the popular opinion was that the conference was the worst ever in the history of the NBA. I think the leaders of the NBA then, particularly Olisa Agbakoba and Rafiu Lawal-Rabana, President and Secretary respectively, who allegedly excluded other executive members of the National Committee in the control and organization of the conference, should be ashamed of themselves.

3rd Counsel: In my opinion, the best thing to do is to await the findings of the Offiah Committee

1st Counsel: Sure we’ll wait. But I tell you nobody who paid for the 2008 conference and suffered the way we did, during the conference cannot have good opinion about the managerial competence and integrity of those men. Whether you like it or not, the truth is that the setting up of the Offiah Committee by the NEC of the NBA is already an indictment of their integrity.

3rd Counsel: Were the two of them, Agbakoba and Lawal-Rabana at the Osogbo NEC?

1st Counsel: Lawal Rabana was there. He tried to defend some positions but even the mosquitoes around were not impressed. As for Agbakoba, the stranger who became king, he did not come. In fact since he handed over to Akeredolu the new President, the stranger has not attended any NBA function. And I am sure he will not attend the next NEC meeting taking place in Sokoto in May 2009.

OPEN LETTER TO MR. TUNJI AYANLAJA SAN "PLEASE PUT AN END TO THIS EYESORE"

Dear Mr. Ayanlaja,

E karo sir. I decided to blow the trumpet of my pen in the direction of your ears on a matter, which in my humble, squibish opinion is of great public concern, because you are involved.
The matter is none other than the criminal case of the Federal Republic of Nigeria against a number of individuals including Commodore, now Chief Olabode George. These individuals as you well know are facing sundry charges of corruption and abuse of public office before an Ikeja High Court.
In Nigerian parlance the case is a “big case”. A case is said to big either by the “enormity” of the alleged crime or and the high profile of the alleged offenders.
No doubt in this case, quite a hefty amount of public is alleged by the prosecution to have been ‘swallowed’ by the Chief George and his co-travellers.
I may not know those other accused persons (I guess they are big shots too) but I cannot say that of Chief Olabode George.
If I am right, the Chief first came to national lime-light when he was appointed the military administrator of Ondo State some two decades ago. When his appointment ended news had it that Commodore George declared concerning his legacy in the pounded yam and lokili state that “I wanted people to know that a Lagos boy passed through here”
Chief George’s star shone even brighter with the advent of the post (General Sani) Abacha constitutional democracy and party politics. The Chief found himself in the Peoples’ Democratic Party (PDP) and soon became a prominent national leader of the party in the form, name and weight of a National Vice-Chairman. When the PDP, derisively referred to by the late Esa-Oke caustic tongue, Bola “cicero” Ige as Pindipi, came to power in 1999 to form the government, a grateful party appreciative of Chief George’s administrative genius allocated to him the governance of the Nigerian Ports Authority.
The case against him now in the court of honourable Justice Olubunmi Oyewole is that the Chief appropriated public funds as the head of the certainly wet NPA.
One is not concerned here with the merits or otherwise of the allegations against Chief Olabode George, your client and the other gentlemen accused. That’s the judicial “headache” of the presiding judge.
At any rate, I have been reliably informed that in the battle before Oyewole J, your side is not doing badly at all. I was made to understand by some of those who have been following the case closely that you in particular, and in favour of Chief George, have been systematically, even sensationally, pulling down the ramparts of the prosecution’s case by the battering-ram power of your skillful and painstaking cross-examination.
What is of great interest and urgent concern to me about the case in which you are the star defence counsel is the regular presence of an army of gaily and colourfully dressed people, a large majority of whom are women, who storm the court on any hearing date.
These women and the men are said to by party members of the PDP an are supporters of Chief George whom they have come to give moral support.
This army of Georgitas when they come, they come in the manner of a swarm of colourful butterflies. Easily noticeable by their geles and aso-ebi uniforms they take over Justice Oyewole’s court and spill outside even reaching up to the Chief Judge garage! Seeing them in their numbers, and dressed glamorously and flamboyantly as they appear, an innocent by stander or passers-by may be forgiven to mistake them for participants in an owanbe party thrown by a “money-miss-road drug baron celebrating the “transmission to glory” of his late beloved mother who had died a quarter of a century earlier!
Sir last week Thursday, I had the opportunity of looking more closely at these Georgitas, since I had a case too before his Lordship Oyewole j on that very day. As early as 8:30a.m these women had arrived to the Ikeja High Court. Some of them took vantage positions in the court, particularly the back seats.
Those who occupied space outside the courtroom were in a large stretch, all over the grounds, merely chatting. The vast majority were dressed in blue headgears and gold coloured aso-ebi. The others sat, backing the nearby open Registry of the High court decked in red gele and green iro and buba aso-ebi.
I may be wrong but it appears that these women and their male colleagues were either merely a rented crowd to give questionable support to a politician on trial or a group of either unemployed or unemployable grown-ups who decide to frolic to the court-house for some stipends.
Now assuming that the Georgitas were no rented crowd and had come sincerely to give moral support to Chief George, why turn out in a colourful owanbe fashion? The question one may ask is what are these women celebrating? Or what event or occasion are they marking? The trial of Chief Olabode George?
Nobody or at least no reasonable or responsible person celebrates the trial of a loved one. If the allegations against the accused are false, and trumped up what is there to celebrate? And if they are true, what too is there to celebrate?
All over the world, especially in the free societies, trials of political figures, especially those seen as being controversial or persecuted attract the presence of their loyalists.
But these loyalists display sobriety and exhibit their displeasure by way of symbols, messages and placards. But what do we make of people who turn trials to carnivals and theatres of merry-making, in the very grounds of the trial courts as the Georgitas and their male colleagues have been doing?
I must tell you sir, that the general impression people have about these Georgitas is not positive. I have heard people calling them prostitutes, jobless lay-abouts, parasites and such uncomplimentary terms, who on each trial day of the case, pollute the sober atmosphere of the court with their gaudy appearances and bawdy manners.
Yet it can be commended on their behalf that the courts are a public place and court-trials ordinarily under our constitution should hold in public and that as such people have a right to come to the courts to watch proceedings. It can also be further commended on the Georgitas’ behalf that citizens of this country have the constitutional right of freedom of association and free assembly where no crime is planned or committed.
Let us quickly however remind ours of the scriptural exhortation of St Paul – “All things may be lawful but not all things are expedient”
In my humble opinion, these women are not adding mileage to the character and reputation of your client, Chief Olabode George. They may be looking at themselves with approbation but the public looks upon them with sorrow. The impression their extravagant but absurd appearance give to the public is that they are lap-dogs sustained on a diet of crumbs that drop from rich but ill-gotten provisions. They are, frankly speaking, nothing but an eye-sore and of no value at all, to the proceedings before the court.
Sir, I’m sure the sea of ‘owanbe headgears of these pindipi women cannot be part of your formidable advocacy arsenal and I doubt whether they can even to the slightest degree,, turn the solid head of the presiding judge in the direction of undue sympathy for your client’s case.
It is of utmost importance, for the preservation of the sacredness and solemnity of the judicial institutions that the misnorner and absurd presence of the Georgitas be stopped immediately.
And nobody is in any better position to do this, than your good and honourable self. While the court may take the prudent position of closing its eye to the eyesore of the Georgitas, the prosecution may be in an awkward position to raise the issue, since they could be liable to strident attacks of harassing the supporters of the accused persons.
You and indeed the entire defence team have no such constraints. Of course, sir, you are the most eminent and senior of the lawyers for the defence in this case and certainly have the status to speak home-truths to your clients.
I know when you tell your clients, including Chief Olabode George that it is wrong and an insidious subversion of the dignity and honour of the court to turn the spectation of a criminal trial for corrupt practices into a jamboree-like setting and occasion, consequently trivialising the criminal adjudication of such a grievous allegation, they will listen.
Let them know, if they don’t know already, that criminal trials of notable people in society is simply just that and not a popularly test, where the vindication of an accused would rest on his popularity. For what does it matter to a good court that a criminal is beloved in the community-such a criminal gains a conviction and is at liberty to continue his popularly show in the prison house if he so desires.
Of course it is possible, that your counsel may be rejected by Chief Olabode George & Co. They may tell you that a prominent politicians like George must, as his due, receive the massive adoration of his followers all the time, even in the precincts of the court or else how does he prove that indeed he is “a man of the people?”
In that unlikely event, I respectfully urge you to drop their brief. It is a big sacrifice alright, especially from the financial angle, but it is not too much a price for you as a silk and an elder of the bar to pay or bear, for the protection of the judicial institution and criminal law administration.
I am sure if seniors like you set such standards, politicians will fall in line and demobilise their various Georgitas and put a stop to other tricks and antics they put up when they have questions to answer before courts of law over their conduct in public office.
I guess this is a rather long letter, reading of which may have taken much of your precious time. I thank you for your patience. My prayer is that, that your famous “Apoti Aje” – the modified lecture lectern you use in the inner not grow less or shaky. E e pe fun wa, Sa.

Yours faithfully,

Adesina Ogunlana Esq.
Gecko-In-chief